Hey Everyone! I had to jump on and put into words a conversation that I had with the owner of the company I’m employed with. He recently sat down with me and discussed my future with the company from his perspective. I say from his perspective because the truth of the matter is my future is what I make it no matter if we’re speaking about his company or any other. As I sat there listening to him describe the direction that the company was going in, I was intrigued. He stated that I was a great asset and the he believed that I could run the office. In the middle of this sentence though there was a but inserted….but, YOU’RE A MOM. I immediately said, “Did that just come out of your mouth?” Now my boss is not a shy man by any means but he has always been respectful in his conversations with me but at this very moment, I felt disrespected. He went on to say that yes, the words came out of his mouth and he would not take them back. He shared that he had the same conversation with his daughter as it related to her return to work after having 2 children. He believed that for as much as working mothers wanted to give their all, it just simply wasn’t possible. He went on to elaborate and give reasons that he though supported his statement.
The reasons he provided were as follows:
- If there is an emergency or need at 10 o’clock at night, as a mother I would not leave my children to go and attend to it.
- When my children get sick, I have to take time off of work to take care of them.
- Who would care for my children if I was needed in China for 2 months?
As I sat in the middle of this conversation, I wondered why no one ever asks this question of men. Is it because it’s just assumed that the role of a woman is the wipe noses and stay with the kids by default. Are men ever questioned as to whether they will be available at night in the event of an emergency? I don’t think so which is totally absurd because there are some single fathers out there grinding extra hard without the help of a coparent but they have a leg up because they are men. If this conversation happened during my early time with the company, it probably would not have stirred up the feelings I have right now. You see i’ve devoted a crazy amount of time and energy into this space of my career. I’ve helped the company transition offices twice in the last 4 years during which time I was pregnant, gave birth, and tended to 2 small children without missing a beat. The same men who probably question my ability to run the office are the exact ones who would call me smack dab in the middle of me pumping milk when they need an answer or direction on something. Did I tell them I couldn’t help them because I was being a mom. NO. I simply told them to speak louder over the pump…LOLBSS. I completely appreciate having the opportunity to speak candidly with the owner and after talking with a couple of people, their advice to me was to take legal action. The general consensus is that I shouldn’t work for someone who thinks this way. They might be right but now all I want to do is run the office just to prove a point and set the record straight. I’ve worked for people who never told me what they were thinking and led me to believe things were going to be different than they were so I know what it’s like to be completely in the dark too. Letting this play out is definitely a chess move -no checkers this way. I’ve started the timer on this because he called me in last week for a follow up conversation to say that our conversation was still fresh on his mind and that he wanted me to have this promotion if I understood everything that comes with it. He asked that I be patient as he realigns the office. Historically i’ve not been a title whore and in this case I don’t think that I am either but what will happen in the next 6 months is that I will either take the reigns as an Executive there or part ways amicably and run my own shit [again]. I know first hand that working for yourself is soooooo much harder than working for someone else but either way i’ll be winning. Do I understand everything that comes with it? -Nope but don’t disqualify me based on you worrying about who i’m gonna get to “babysit”. Let me figure that part out. Your concern should be making sure you’re paying me enough to afford it. 💅🏾 . #joytobliss